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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

MuMo on VaTu: Love songs for misanthropes.

Its Dio De Valentis or some shit. This is the day in America where we celebrate the snakes being driven out of Ireland by some catholic guy in a baby outfit, I'm fairly certain of that fact. And I think snakes is old catholic code for "weiners" which is why all the hot irish chicks are lesbians.

Yeah, wikipedia backs me up on that today. Cool.

I used to really hate this day, but mostly because I was lonely loser, and I always hated being a lonely loser on Valentines day. Also the fact that I had a good stretch of about 5 years where I got dumped on Valentines, and on year six I though I was going to break my steak but instead I got an STD. Good times, good times.

I don't really hate it so much anymore, though.  I guess setting aside a special day to celebrate love isn't such a bad thing. Its still a loaded commercial holiday, but it could be worse...it could be like Back Friday. Now that's a disgusting corporate orgy of a holiday. But you can get away with celebrating Valentisssssimo day without buying into the like, big corporate machine, man.

Just make your own paper cutouts, go buy some chocolates and melt them into new shapes so it looks like you hand made them, and play these songs. That FEEEEELTHY hipster you've been sleeping with will think you are an ironic Don Juan/Donnatta Jaunita, then you can go drink some locally hand crafted artisan PBR from wine glasses and fuck like bunnies. Enjoy.
-Carnival Carl

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